I have so many thoughts going on in my head like crazy and can't stop thinking. But I somehow can't express these thoughts (with) writing or talking - I wish I could.
Some of these thoughts disappear when I try to put them into words in my mind.
Others disappear (and leave big hole of emptiness) when I try to write them down or to speak about them.
Others are still in my head when I try to write them down or speak about them, but the connection to my fingers or to my tongue seems to be disrupted so I can't express them.
I wish I could give more inside into my head or someone could read my thoughts.
This is also true for my doctor. I wish I could tell him more or let him read my thoughts.
Some days ago I received a letter* in which he says that I'm well adjusted to my medication, that a new medication I'm talking is working and that my pain decreased. All that is not true.** I don't know if he just write whatever he want to write or if he has totally misunderstood me. I have no idea, though, how he can come to the conclusion, that my pain decreased. Of course it is bad for me, if he thinks I'm well, because that means, I won't receive any further treatment (don't want to talk about help).
I wish some people could look into my head. If it weren't for understanding me, than just for information purposes.
Thank you for reading!
* I received that letter from another doctor. I it is a letter my pain-doctor wrote to that other doctor and that other doctor send that letter to me.
** There is more in that letter which is clearly false, but those are the most important points.