Sad

I'm so sad. And I can't tell why.

I have to learn for an exam, but I'm too sad to focus. I don't know what to do.

I forgot my hot-water-bottle at home (the thing from phillips which produces heat with blue-light is broken), so I have really bad pain. Maybe this contributes to the sadness.

Other than that, I feel alone, because I will never be able to have friends (for a longer period of time and who like me for being me), because I can't explain myself and I can't even tell who I am and simple stuff about myself.

Because I'm too fucked up.

(Actually no one should be facing the difficulty of knowing me. But despite I know this (that nobody should knowing me), I wish someone would. Even though it is impossible, anyways.)

Edit: I guess, I am sad because I realised that I will never be able to express myself thus not be able to have very deep friendships. So I have lost hope in this thing. Even though I always thought this I still had a little bit of hope. Losing hope (the remaing part of it) makes me sad.