Monday, December 17, 2012


I recently noticed that I feel guilty for pretty much everything. (Not everything, but A LOT of things.)

My friend reminded me that this I have improved over the last few years, because a few years ago I would feel guilty for preferring the false kind of yogurt or something like that. I wonder, though, if I really feel less guilty now of if I can just cope better with the guilt.

Today for example I have not been at work and I feel very guilty for this. I have taken holidays, though. And I have a certificate from my doctor, that I'm ill (pain, burnings, open wound cos of burnings*). And I visited another doctor (orthopedist). So I have had at least to reasons not to go to work (I also have a cold). But I still feel guilty.

Most of the time the guilt-feeling for me is so terrible that I just do whatever it takes to release it. I go to work, I don't take my holidays, I don't ask for anything (which might help me) at work, I don't ask doctors for help (I just describe my problem if that). Because I don't feel worth that and I would feel terribly guilty.

I don't think that is good for me, though. But it is difficult to overcome.

* I used the hot-water-bottle too much as pain-relief.

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